Book Summary:
How embracing vulnerability and imperfection is necessary for achieving real engagement and social connection.
Related Book Summaries:
Hardwiring Happiness – Rick Hanson – Book Summary
Philosophy For Life – Jules Evans – Book Summary
Mindset – Carol Dweck – Book Summary
Quotes:
Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable but they are never weakness.
Book Summary Notes:
- We’ve all had feelings of shame at one time or another. Shame can be very harmful and even stop people from living up to their full potential.
- Vulnerability is the way to overcome shame. Vulnerability is the willingness to openly admit to failures and weakness, it can help build your resilience to shame and also help you be more content with what you have.
- Shame is the fear of social disconnection. Shame can be often triggered by our perception of what people think of us.
- As social animals we’re wired to seek the company of others, belonging to a group is a survival mechanism held over from our evolution. Our need to belong is strong enough to cause actual pain if we become disconnected from our group.
- Shame is apart of our culture and promotes fear of unworthiness, of never being or having enough.
- In our world of social media we’re constantly bombarded by everyone else’s personal and professional accomplishments to envy. This feeds into the feeling of ‘never enough’ that affects so many people today. This never enough thinking leads to a cycle of comparison, shame and disengagement.
- We’ve been raised in a world where being vulnerable is associated with failure and disappointment.
- Vulnerability simply means having the ability to experience emotions. Most positive emotions have their roots in vulnerability.
- Vulnerability opens us up to risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure. You can never be certain someone else will reciprocate your emotions but allowing yourself to still feel shows a great deal of courage and strength.
- Embracing our vulnerability can help us to develop both personally and professionally by connecting more deeply with others.
- By understanding and talking about shame we can limit its ability to affect us. Talking about and naming our shame often can rid it of its power and make us more resilient towards it.
- If we feel satisfied with what we are and have we can stop hiding our vulnerability.
- Atmospheres of shame are toxic in personal and professional environments. Shame can have disastrous effects on productivity, resulting in less work and eventual disengaging from the work in the form of quitting.
