Book Summary:
How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds Or Less was published in 2000, by Nicholas Boothman and it is a guide to decoding subtle social gestures, striking up better conversations and the art of making people like you.
Related Book Summaries:
How To Win Friends And Influence People – Dale Carnegie
Book Quotes:
All relationships are built on trust. Trust is built on congruence.
Book Summary Notes:
- Bonding with other people can positively affect your health as well as your success in life.
- Being part of a group was a survival trait in early humans and we still have that same drive, even today.
- A study from the Harvard School of Health Sciences showed that a lack of quality social or community connections correlated to an increased chance of death among a group of 7,000 people tracked over 9 years.
- Wider social networks can impact things as diverse as; meeting potential romantic partners, getting more or better job offers and many other types of opportunities.
- Your first few moments when you meet someone have always been critical, people often begin to form opinions of you based on facial expressions, your eyes and even what your wearing or how you look. They don’t always wait for you to open your mouth.
- To display openness with your body, position yourself with your heart towards the person, this type of posture sincerity and a willingness to connect.
- Direct eye contact is also important for initial meetings to help establish trust.
- Always remember to smile.
- Start out a new meeting with a pleasant hello or hi, then offer the person your name. Be sure when they tell you theirs that you repeat it back to them, this will also help to cement it in your mind. For bonus points use it in conversation where you can to help boost retention.
- Attitude is important when it comes to building rapport.
- A useful attitude means your focused on what you want out of a conversation while a useless one is focused on what you don’t.
- By focusing on what you want out of the conversation you will automatically give off positive body language and facial expressions.
- Begin by deciding what you want out of a conversation this will help lead to a useful attitude.
- Display consistent body language to be considered likeable and credible.
- Body language can loosely be divided into 2 categories: open and closed.
- Open generally focuses on exposing your heart, which signals to others a willingness and desire to communicate openly.
- Closed body language generally focuses on protecting the heart. An example of which could be crossed arms.
- Another key is to display consistent body language across your face and body. Inconsistent body language will put people off and make it harder for you to build a better relationship.
- Credibility is built through body language across three areas: vocal, verbal and visual. That means what you say, how you say it and any signals your body is giving during communication.
- The key to good conversation is good questions. Questions should open a person up and not close them off. Open questions require something other than a yes no answer from the person answering.
