Book Summary: The Art Of Asking
The Art Of Asking is Amanda Palmers personal journey into her philosophy of asking and sharing. Learn how to better reciprocate generosity and build a mass of supporters for everything you do, everywhere you go.
Related Book Summaries:
The Social Animal – David Brooks
The Charisma Myth – Olivia Fox Cabane
The Art Of Asking Quotes:
From what I’ve seen, it isn’t so much the act of asking that paralyzes us–it’s what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.
In both the art and the business worlds, the difference between the amateurs and the professionals is simple: The professionals know they’re winging it. The amateurs pretend they’re not.
There’s really no honor in proving that you can carry the entire load on your own shoulders. And…it’s lonely
The Art Of Asking Book Summary Notes:
Accepting Help
Sometimes when you accept help from someone it can be just as valuable for the person offering the help. Often times people enjoy helping or supporting others, especially people they like or admire.
Make sure that when you accept help that you return the favour. It doesn’t even need to be a conventional return of a favour. The author herself describes how while working as a street performer, it was often enough to simply look someone in the eyes in response to their giving her money. In exchange for the cash she was able to help people to feel ‘seen’ or ‘loved’ as part of her routine.
Sometimes all people want is empathy or understanding.
Denial
Sometimes when you make a request or offer help, you will be turned down. You need to be prepared for this and embrace it. Asking for something is a reciprocal act, it must be unconditional and allow the other person to reject it if they do choose. The author discovered this as she continued her street performer career. Eventually instead of giving things out in response to the charity of others she allowed them the choice of taking something if they desired. This allowed the experience to be unconditional for the people involved.
A Reciprocal Community
Asking for help always works best in a tight knit community where there is a history of helping. This builds trust and allows you to draw on this community when you are truly in need. They also will feel good about giving as there is a history of trust and positive outcomes with you.
Make sure that as you go about building your community that you treat them like a family. Small kind acts can be incredibly valuable in building these relationships. Things like staying in touch or reaching out on a special occasion like the other persons birthday. As you build these relationships, guard them as well. They shouldn’t be something you sell out.
